"[9] Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. [10] For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. [11] Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you." — Proverbs 2:9-11 NIV
One of the reasons I seek wisdom is because I’ve noticed a recurring pattern in how I interact with people. I often find myself maintaining relationships with those who have hurt me, even when I’m the one always reaching out. More often than not, this ends in heartbreak.
I remember, in my early twenties, working with someone I initially didn’t like. This person was rude and condescending, not just to me but to others as well. Over time, they seemed to change, becoming more understanding, kind, and helpful. Eventually, they became someone I was close to—someone I liked, a partner. But as soon as we became partners, it was like a switch flipped. They reverted to their old behavior, being rude and condescending, saying hurtful things, cursing at me, and calling me ugly and stupid. I stayed with this person, on and off, for four years.
Another was a friend who became my housemate during a difficult time in my life. While I was heartbroken and struggling, I was diligently handing over my share of the rent to her, trusting that she was giving it to the landlady. Months later, I found out she hadn’t been paying the rent at all. The landlady approached me directly to ask about the overdue payments. Since I was working the night shift, I rarely saw the landlady and had no idea what was happening. The betrayal and financial mess forced me to move back in with my parents. Despite this, I stayed friends with her until last year, 2024. After two years of therapy, I finally realized how much that relationship had hurt me and how one-sided it had always been. I was always the one reaching out, yet she never apologized or showed any genuine interest in mending things. With that clarity, I decided to cut her off for good. It was a hard decision, but one that brought me peace and a sense of self-respect.
These experiences taught me the importance of discerning which relationships to nurture and which to let go. As I grow older, I realize there’s still so much to learn about meeting new people and understanding who truly has my best interests at heart.
I’ve also come to understand that some people, even those who say that they love you, may not be capable of doing so. They might lack the capacity to meet your expectations. This is where God’s wisdom is vital—teaching us how to respond to disappointments, whether to maintain relationships, and how to navigate them with grace.
At the same time, seeking wisdom also means striving to be fair to others, ensuring we don’t unintentionally cause heartbreak or harm.
Discretion plays a big role, too. In today’s world, where everything is searchable and often overexposed, I’ve found joy in keeping certain things private. Sharing secrets with those who value them has brought me unexpected happiness.
I pray that we continue walking with God, learning wisdom and knowledge from Him, so we can live righteously in Him. In Jesus’ name, Amen.